Archives for posts with tag: Parent

Bedwetting is nothing to be ashamed about. You are certainly not somehow a bad parent because your child does not stay dry through the night, so stop that thought right now.

Children will also often feel unhappy or inadequate about it already, so there is nothing to be achieved by having it pointed out to them that ‘other children have stopped wetting their bed’ or that it is in any way the child’s fault. Just for a moment imagine the embarrassment of a child who still experiences bedwetting, whilst at a sleepover. That sounds pretty awful, you’ll agree.

In general daytime wetting stops at about three years of age, whilst stopping wetting the bed at night will end by about five. It is common for bedwetting to continue infrequently after this. Bedwetting can also occur when the family or the child is experiencing something stressful such as divorce or some sort unpleasant event. 

Why does my child wet the bed?

Bedwetting is not about laziness or necessarily a call for attention or a sign of weakness. Bedwetting may also happen more in families where siblings or even parents wet their beds, with some studies even suggesting a genetic disposition for bedwetting. Bedwetting may have a medical cause or be related to sensitivity to certain foods. Consult your doctor about any such concerns. Perhaps your child is a heavy sleeper and does not immediately wake up when feeling that their bladder is full? Be aware of possible explanations for bedwetting.

Hypnotherapy can help in a number of ways. Your child may not notice that signal that their bladder is full. Hypnotherapy will help them become more sensitive to that signal and wake up so they can go to the toilet. Hypnotherapy is also very effective for controlling habits or changing patterns of behaviour. In some cases bedwetting may have continued since it does indeed get your attention and in big families or when parents are very busy, a child will use all sorts of ways to get your attention. This is not something selfish but really a normal desire to spend time with you and feel loved. However your child can, with some help, speak up in other ways rather than getting you to take notice by bedwetting. You may also wish to consider how much quality time you spend daily with your children.

Once a child is past about five years of age, bed wetting will become an increasing embarrassing issue. Self esteem can be affected since the child will wonder why other ‘normal’ children do not wet the bed at night. Your child may then feel down about this ongoing challenge. Raising self esteem using hypnotherapy will  give you a happy child. It will also give you a confident child who feels and knows that bedwetting is not a big deal. Reducing that feeling of pressure will speed up up the process of ending bedwetting as well.

What you can do

Firstly, as a parent you can reassure your child that bedwetting is not a big deal and that you are in this challenge together. It is nothing to be ashamed about. You may also feel comfortable mentioning if it was a problem for you as a child. Of course use your judgement. It might help your child to know that they are not alone and it happens to others as well.

There are practical tips such as reducing consumption of drinks late at night. It can also be useful to explain what is happening as well. Perhaps mention that right now your child’s bladder is still growing and isn’t quite big enough to hold all the wee, but as they grow up, very soon, it will get bigger and this will all stop happening, there is no need to be concerned. I leave it to you to create your explanation.

It is in general better to ensure the bed has a plastic cover rather than putting your child into thick underpants or nappies. If your child is aware that they are wearing special nappies this may affect how they feel about themselves. They will also know that they do not need to get up to go the toilet since the nappy will absorb any fluid. This may prolong bedwetting.

Ensure you give reassurance after any accidents and that your child has a shower in the morning, so they are fresh and clean for the day. Do not make young children clean up after an accident since they may then feel that they are being punished, adding shame to the embarrassment they may already feel.

Before a sleepover you may wish to inform the parent of the home where the sleepover will be about what is going on. Then also let your child know that they can speak with that parent in confidence and privately should an accident happen. If you do not feel the parent will be sensitive, you may wish to consider other options.

For help for bedwetting and more about hypnotherapy get in touch today.


How much time are our children in nature?

Inactivity and obesity mean children born today have a lower life expectancy than their parents, for the first time ever.

I thought that this debate was very interesting. I love being in the countryside or simply be in a park. Do our children need

fresh air? However is it detrimental if children don’t go to open spaces very often?

Does your child have anxiety?

Do you suspect that your child is unhappy or feeling anxious or stressed? Here are some quick tips to help you investigate what is going on.

Anxiety is of course often a scary word. Anxiety is normally something we associate with adults going through a major crisis such as a divorce or redundancy. However, children and teens also feel anxious.  Children feel anxious since, though it may technically be your divorce or stressful episode, they are going through it as well. You may not see this directly but notice changes such as bed wetting, your child acting in a moody way, being withdrawn or quiet or perhaps finding it hard to work or concentrate at school.

Some children are of course open about how they feel. They will tell you that they feel anxious, or at least that they are very upset. However many children, when  anxious, may bottle it up and remain silent. For some children the anxiety will only be noticeable by his or her insomnia, poor behaviour, moodiness or lower marks at school.

Here are some quick tips to help a child who may be anxious or suffering from anxiety

= It is perfectly okay to simply ask directly how your child feels. In fact many children may assume that you somehow already know how they feel and so won’t tell you openly unless asked directly. Some children make this assumption and then feel even worse when not asked about what is going on. It can be useful to ask and also, as a side comment, mention that you cannot always guess what they are feeling. Of course say this in a loving way. Remember that asking your child directly shows them that you care about how they feel. Showing a child that you care about how they feel will help your child to feel loved. Feeling loved will help reduce your child’s level of stress and anxiety almost immediately.

= Tell your child that it is okay to have those feelings. You can do this by repeating back what they said, but by changing the sentence structure. For example, if your ten year old says, “I really hate maths, I think the teacher doesn’t like me”. You can repeat back, “I didn’t realise you were having such a hard time in maths, and it not surprising that you don’t want to do your homework if you dislike the teacher”. This may sound obvious, however many parents feel they are intruding or that the child will be okay and just needs to ‘get on with it.’ Taking on such a stoic, ‘stiff upper lip’ approach may well reflect on how the parent him/herself tend to personally deal ( or not deal) with stress or anxiety, rather than the most healthy approach.

=Refrain from giving advice early on in the conversation. It is incredibly important to just simply acknowledge that whatever you child is feeling at the present time is okay and normal to feel. It is okay, no matter what your child is currently feeling. You can do this, by saying something like, “I’m not surprised you are feeling so angry, I think that if someone said that to me, I’d be very upset too.”

=Try your best to refrain from saying upbeat comments, such ‘cheer up’ or go into a whole explanation about how what you are feeling is somehow worse. This is about your child’s feelings, not about yours! The main aim is to empathise with your child and express that you understand what he or she is saying and going through. You need to communicate that whatever they are feeling is completely fine.

=Often children fear that what they are feeling is somehow unimportant, invalid, or not as important as what everyone else (often you) is feeling or going through. The most important response with an anxious child is to say that you understand what they are going through, it’s normal and okay, that they can tell you and that you love them.

=Remember that often all a child really needs is to feel that they have been heard by you. After they have described how they are feeling and you have responded, giving them a big loving hug is always a good move.

=Sit together and try to be as honest and realistic as possible about what your child is worrying about. If, for example, they are worried about a grandparent’s health, discuss with them, in very general terms, what is happening. These conversations involve picking and choosing what to say and also assessing what is appropriate for the child in question. The main idea is for the child to feel understood and they have some idea about what is happening. Deciding how much to tell your child is always a complicated decision. If you need to come up with a plan of action, do so in a way in which your child feels a part of the process and that their concerns are taken into account as well.

Good luck 🙂